Lost But Now Found
Updated: Jun 10
Two recent songs, "Invite It In 2.0" and "I'm Sorry" focus on the concepts of losing one's self and self forgiveness. During a conversation on Thursday with my musical mentor and team, I was reminded that my journey back didn't start immediately after I realized I was lost. It took a lot of time and processing. One key part of that journey involved a Martha Beck Class I took in 2019. That class changed my life and gave me a group of friends I adore. As I venture into a second Martha Beck Class at the end of the month, I thought I'd go back and share a few pieces from the first class.
Martha's class used Dante's "The Divine Comedy" as a backdrop for lessons and prompts, Her new book "The Way of Integrity" is based on the same process. It's a fascinating tool. This piece, "Lost But Now Found" was written as a guide to someone about to enter their own abyss. If I were to write it in 2022, I'd write it differently. I have so much more knowledge under my belt and new tools. But, I'm sharing it as I wrote it then because that was my reality at the time.
If you've ever felt lost from yourself, I'd love to hear how you worked your way back. What worked for me may be different from what worked for you. However you did it, I'm pretty certain the first step was recognizing you were lost. I wrote about that moment for me in an earlier post. You can read it by clicking here.
Lost But Now Found
I was resting under that Weeping Willow and noticed you standing here. I wanted to stop by to say ‘hello’ before I journey home.
You know, I stood in this exact spot for years before venturing inside. I think it was seven years. No, wait, maybe it was thirty years? Well, it was seven or thirty, but who is counting? Seeing you standing here in my spot brings back such strong memories. Wow!
But enough about me. How are you doing? Feeling pretty sad? Feeling hopeless? Scared to enter? I get it. I had second thoughts too. Finally, I got tired of standing in the same spot and just went in.
You know, I took some notes while inside. If it isn’t overstepping, I’d like to give them to you.
Tip #1 Reminisce. Comb through your memory box for pictures, journals, letters and souvenirs. Look at them all. Visit places from your past. Reconnect with old friends. Remember you are lost. Reminiscing will help you remember who you were before you got lost and will create a benchmark from which to work.
Tip #2 Brace yourself. You have strayed far from who you once were and even further from who you wanted to become. The magnitude of this realization can be overwhelming at first. So, brace yourself for it.
Tip #3 Cry. The reality of your circumstance is sad and painful and scary. So, let yourself cry. Expect it, encourage it and welcome it. It will feel uncomfortable at first, but it will help you relieve pressure and manage stress during this process.
Tip #4 Workout. Regularly. To loud music, if possible. You are facing lots of fear and pain. Exercise will give you a brief respite from all the tension. You don’t want to bury your emotions or distract yourself from your work, but you can use a mental break now and then. So, exercise.
Tip #5 Forgive. Everyone. As soon as possible. Yourself first. You didn’t lose yourself on purpose. It was an accident. Forgive yourself for not noticing you were veering off course earlier. You simply couldn’t see it happening until it was too late. If there are others to forgive, do it. But know that you are the person responsible for getting lost. Own it and forgive.
Tip #6 Salvage. You lost yourself, but even when lost, you experienced some good in life. When you find yourself, salvage all the good things – the important things – and incorporate them back into the New You.
Tip #7 Believe. Once you find yourself, believe with every inch of your being that you are enough. Exactly as you are. Guard this knowledge. Build a mental fortress around it. Don’t let anyone dispute it. If you safeguard it, you won’t get lost again.
Wishing you strength, peace and perseverance, From someone who was also once lost